Am looking up how to widen a new pair of boots I have. So I go to google "Make Shoes" at it starts auto populating. The last entry reads: "Make shoes at home." So, at this point, all I can think is- Hi shoes, come on in. Care for a drink? Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge. And don't be shy about changing the channel- we weren't really watching that show anyway.

Relationship book

Was originally going to post some random bits of enlightenment that I've had about relationships, but have oddly become compelled to write something longer and more significant. I'm not sure where it will go, but it's the first time I've actually been motivated to do so. Let's see where it goes.

Worthy Funnies

Everyone gets the random joke emails. Some are better than others, and some are actually worth keeping. I think I'm going to make a list of them here, adding to it as worthy amusement drop into my email box. Because there's a lot to be said for laugher, and having a place to look when it feels like your spending your day stepping in one pile of dog doo after another.
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I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

Annoying Policies: Airlines charging for each checked bag

I'm about to travel. This is normally an exciting prospect. Until my brain fully comprehended what a$$munches the airlines truly are.

$20/first checked bag. Each way.
$30 each checked bag after. Each way.

Let me let that sink in for just a sec.

Ok, I came back to this, and read it, and it still ticks me off. I remember hearing about it in the news, but it was in this swirl of other economic gloom and doom going on, so it didn't really stand out. But now, as I think about the travel season coming up, and what that means... I am peeved.

Because everyone is going to be trying to shove as much as they can in the cabin, because those fees are significant. Which means delayed flights. And customer service issues because I've been on flights where they had to gate check something because there wasn't enough room. There's no ability to pay at the gate, at least not when I worked there. How is that going to fly? Are they going to send someone all the way back to the ticket counter to wait in line there, then back through security, and back to the gate because their dumb policy encourages them to run out of room on the plane? And isn't this going to be just lovely as the holidays arrive where people travel to be together and exchange gifts?

When will the airlines get it? Ganking the customer for fees and trying to squeeze a couple of extra dollars out of them will never make up for shoddy business practices that put you in the hole. Fix those, and fix your bottom line. I call this an idiotic practice, and salute Southwest for not sucking.

Idiodic Sayings: Who came up with "flying low to the ground"?

I have found myself to be quite busy as of late. I could list off all of these things occupying my time, but that's actually pretty irrelevant. I've always had a to-do list that has been stupidly long, which is probably another post all on its own. And besides, everyone has their own versions of busy that keep them going.

Anyhoo, as I've been catching up with people, talking about the busy, the phrase "I'm flying low to the ground" keeps being used as a reference that someone is super-busy. I've used it, other people have used it. Then I started thinking about it. It's actually a pretty dumb phrase. I have no flying experience, and I'm pretty certain than most people I've heard say this don't have any flying experience either. And when I say flying experience, I mean being at the controls, not being in the back trying to maneuver past the drink cart 'cause ya gotta go pee again.

The only thing I can think would be busy about flying low to the ground is that you'd be steering like crazy trying to dodge whatever building, tree, person, car, or utility pole you're about to hit. But that's actually contrary to the busy being referred to. When I'm busy, it's because I'm DEALING with the issues coming at me, not dodging them. So, yeah, if I'm flying a plane, and mowing down whatever's in my path, then yeah, I suppose it's a great saying. But I have yet to see any low-flying planes do that.. and I live close to a busy regional airport where if you going to see something like that, it would be there. So, my verdict is: this saying is idiotic, and I'm retiring it from my vocabulary.

That being said, I'm loathe to just complain without offering a solution. So, with credit to a good friend of mine..
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"How are things?"
"I'm busier than a one-legged man in a ass-kicking contest."

Mental Constipation

It's funny... I've been encouraged to get a blog for a while now. So now that I have, all the internal dialogue that I expected to flow like a torrential stream (or verbal diarrhea, depending upon what your opinion is of my thoughts), well, it ain't flowing. I'm mentally backed up.

But, at least I have set forth the motivation to do so, and eke out my space to make commentary upon the world. And for others to make commentary on that commentary. And for yet others to make commentary on that commentary on that .... I'll stop now. Ah, the joy of the web. Where everyone has a voice. Whether we want to hear what they have to say or not. : )